I turned 41 today.
For years before turning 40, I remember thinking “I want to be forty and fabulous.” I wasn’t even 38 yet. I remember going to bootcamps, a personal trainer, trying various diets. It was this milestone that I saw coming, and wanted so badly to be prepared for - but at the same time had absolutely no idea what I was trying to prepare for - so I haphazardly starting workshopping myself.
Right before my 40th birthday I quit my job. I left a six-figure salary at a prestigious organization because, although it had been perfect on paper, it was not right for me in reality.
This meant that two weeks before turning 40, I got to realize a long-time dream: working for myself.
It was exciting and strange. But I wouldn’t say I felt fabulous.
Now that I’ve seen the year through, I can safely say I don’t remember ever feeling fabulous while 40.
I felt daring when I quit my job.
I felt fun and happy when my parents visited California that spring and we got to go to wine country, and take in the (windy) spot where the Russian River meets the Pacific, and hang in Oakland, and eat at In-N-Out.
I felt like part of a tribe when some of my favorite girlfriends came out to California last minute and I got to spend time with them.
I felt amazing when my husband and I danced in the third row at the Brandi Carlile concert at The Greek in Berkeley.
I felt like I found a missing piece when a “long-lost” friend and I reconnected in 2022.
I felt nervous, amazing, and alive when I walked my Camino de Santiago. I felt ignited, and myself, after that adventure.
I felt inspired and exposed when I started writing again.
I felt (and still feel) connected and part of a community in the workshop cohorts I joined.
I felt strong both times I ran 5k races last year.
I felt so much love when I got to see my three nieces in person around the holidays.
I felt calm starting a new year quietly at home with Mike and our sweet dog George.
I felt spontaneous when I decided to jump in the car and drive to LA to see an old friend and meet new ones.
I felt like my brother’s sister, my parent’s daughter, and my niece’s aunt swimming under the Florida sun with them a couple of weeks ago.
In between all that, I worked. I worked mostly from my home office in Oakland but I also worked in Sonoma, Ohio, Monterey, New York, Spain, and Florida.
I worked a lot, but I would say I lived more.
Which - looking back - feels fabulous.
Looking forward is something we all spend a lot of time and effort on. However looking back at what we have already done, seen, accomplished, explored is part of who we really are! I truly think you are
FABULOUS!
I agree!! You are fabulous!! 😎